A fight

I live in a house with three roommates. There's the owner, who I'll call Papa Bear- he's 47 and a very nice guy. He's had a 20 year old kid living there for the past three years or so- we'll call him Baby Bear. He's also a nice guy, an easy-going, pot-smoking gamer. He's always at his computer playing games.

Finally there's Stickman. I call him that because he's wicked skinny, AIDS-thin you might say if you saw him. He's a second-shift nurse and he's been "friends" with the owner for maybe 15 years. Friends is in quotes, not because they're really a couple, but because they really can't stand each other. Because of the hours they work they don't see much of each other but about once a month there will a fight over some petty issue and Stickman shouts like an angry teenage girl. It's funny and scary.

Stickman and Papa Bear might be around the same age, but Stickman looks closer to 60. It's a combination of his weight, his shaved head, his shortage of teeth, and his all-around bitter attitude. In the year and a half that I've lived here, Stickman has never had a friend over, and I heard from Papa Bear that he doesn't get along with any of his family.

I avoid Stickman as much as possible but there's a problem. When he isn't in his bedroom, burning incense and blaring Fox News, he's in the bathroom. And as he leaves for work around 2:20pm, he expects to have exclusive use of the bathroom for the full three hours before he leaves.

But, in his mind the time goes back even earlier. Thre have been times when I came home at 11am from a two-day stay at a friends and then showered and brushed my teeth, only to walk out and find him standing at Baby Bear's door and complaining about me.

Showering, shaving, brushing my teeth- these are all chores to me, and I try to get them done as quickly as possible. And I also try to avoid spending a block of time in there, so I'll brush my teeth early and then later I'll go back and shave and shower. I'm not exagerating when I say that Stickman spends more time in the bathroom than the rest of us combined. So how can any sane person resent anyone else being in there.

Today, my brother came to take me out to lunch. Before we left my brother needed to use the bathroom. It was 12:35pm. A coupe minutes later I heard Stickman in the hallway, "He better not be taking a shower, THIS IS MY TIME" and he stormed down the stairs. A moment later he started pounding on the bathroom door, saying he needed to get ready for work. As my brother came out I reminded Stickman that he had over an hour to get ready and as we closed the door to my bedroom my brother said that Stickman was a fucking douchebag.

I haven't seen him since. He's home now but he has his door closed. I'm not saying anything to him unless he says something first. I'm happy this happened but now I don't have to pretend that nothing's wrong.

I know I'm not the only person who has roommate problems; there's a world of complaints out there. But I think this one is special because Stickman is so crazy and so blind to how inconsiderate he is.

Well, enough about that. Good night.