(Not) Another Lonely Christmas

(For some reason, the paragraph breaks that I make aren't showing up in my posts.) Last September I moved to Texas to live with a friend of mine. There wasn't one big reason my I moved there from New England, just a lot of small reasons. Right around the top of the list, though, was that my friend, Craig, was living all alone there in a town where he'd only been for about a year and he didn't know many people. He had a couple friends from work and a couple friends from outside of work. He has family in New England but his immediate family live in Baltimore. I didn't like the idea of him spending the holidays by himself at his apartment.



He'd moved to the new apartment just two months before I got there. The building itself is in a nice neighborhood in the hills, away from town. There are some big houses on the dead-end street, including the one across the street that has a ten-foot metal fence around it plus an automated gate at the end of the driveway. I call it the Kennedy compound. Craig's apartment is big- a large living room, two bedrooms, and two bathrooms. When I got there, there was almost no furniture. He had his big memory-foam bed in his room with no nightstand or dresser. The dining room had a round table with four chairs and a big black desk, and the living room had an old loveseat and a TV with a small table under it. The thing about the apartment is that it had box windows. I don't know if that's the right name- when I first moved in I didn't have a bed so when I got tired of curling up on the loveseat I would make a nest in the window box in my room and sleep there. I could stretch out because the window was more than six feet wide. After I'd been there a month we got a few things; the next-door neighbors had old couch and a couple matching end tables. I moved things around so that Craig now has a nightstand with a lamp on it. The loveseat went into my room to go with the full-sized mattress from Craig's friend. That's it. That's all the furniture that we had up until I moved out two weeks ago. It's all we needed too because he didn't want to be stuck with a lot of junk when it came time to move. To make the apartment into a home I had to be creative with what we had. I found a blanket to use as a tablecloth, put my books in the living room window box, bought basil, parsley, and rosemary plants to go by the sink, and painted a picture of my parents' late Boston terrier to hang over the kitchen door. I kept moving the couch and TV, trying to find the perfect set-up. The apartment went from being a place to sleep to being a home.



When Thanksgiving came we were low on money. In fact, we had about $40 and $20 of it needed to go to bills. Thanksgiving morning I walked to the supermarket in town and bought everything we needed and at 1pm we started eating. We didn't have the money for a ham or a turkey so I used an old recipe: half a pound of bacon chopped up and cooked in a soup bowl. Then you pull out the bacon and cook up a head of cabbage chopped thin with some chopped onion and a lot of salt and pepper. I also diced a loaf of bread, toasted and flavored the pieces, and then made stuffing. For a side dish I roasted potatoes, carrots, and onions with cinnamon and a little soy sauce. We started with black olives stuffed with bread crumbs, parm, and fresh parsley. I got us a two liter bottle of Canada Dry to go with dinner and coffee for afterwards. I bought a pie shell that came in a pie pan but the filling I made myself with fresh apples, sugar, cinnamon, and butter and I got a package of Andes Candies for our candy bowl. Everything came out perfect. I'd wanted to do more, but for $20 I think that's pretty good.



When Christmas rolled around we were doing great and had a lot more money. Even still, I didn't want to spend any money on Christmas decorations. I decided I'd make them instead. But when I looked around the apartment there was nothing to use. Then I thought about our backyard. There's a pine tree over the driveway and I went out and cut off a bunch of branches. Then I thought about the big bush along the back fence- it had small green leaves and clusters of hard red berries that looked like holly. I used all that to make a wreath and used the extra to put over doorways and in corners. Then I thought of the phone book. The pages were white but the pages were bordered on the edge by different colors. There was red, yellow, blue, and green so I cut out strips of red and strips of green and used Craig's silver metallic tape from his work van and made the strips into a chain that I hung over the entry to the kitchen. I was so proud of myself- decent ornaments for no money, and after New Years I could toss them all away.




Everything was perfect. Then, the second week in December Craig's sister said that she wanted Craig to spend Christmas at her house with the family and that she was buying a ticket. I was happy for Craig. As much as I wanted to have a fun Christmas with him, more than that I wanted him to be with his family that he hadn't seen since the previous June. I didn't want to spend Christmas alone but I decided I'd make the best of it. He went to the airport on Friday morning. I was horribly lonely before Christmas Eve day. It was sunny there but it had gotten cold. Using the heater was expensive and though I'd planned to not turn it on I ended up using it a few times during the twelve days I was by myself. I didn't know anybody in Texas except for a couple of Craig's friends and none of them would be stopping by. I had the TV on the entire time and sometimes the radio- the oldies station- was on too, especially when I was in the kitchen. I made a lot of phone calls to family and friends and on Christmas Eve I cooked myself a big dinner. It was basically the same as what I'd made for Thanksgiving but instead of the cabbage dish I used the big pot to make chicken soup. While I was cooking the doorbell rang. It was our landlady who lived below us. She had baked banana bread and had two loaves for us, each wrapped in Christmas bags. That really cheered me up. I thanked her and went back in and put one in the freezer so Craig could have it when he got back. The other I had with coffee Christmas day and the days after.



I was so lonely the rest of the week and couldn't wait for Craig to get back. Finally he came back home. I'd tried to have a good time, and, really, I had the best time that I could've had. I just wanted to have Craig there, or to be with my family, just like I was every other Christmas, even when I'd lived on my own. Anyway, I guess me and Craig are going to try again this year.

In Cold Blood

Wait, one more quick post tonight. I've wanted to read "In Cold Blood" for the longest time. Every time I saw it somewhere- even at used bookstores- it was always around $10, so I waited. Finally, on my birthday, I found a softcover for $1. I read it, the first time, that night. I've read it now 3 times. For one thing, it's a short book. For another thing, it's perfectly written, researched, and edited. I'm sure it was labored over. In fact, I think it was written over a space of about 5 years, but it doesn't feel labored over. It's a smooth, light (that's probably not the right word) read. There are so many perfect touches and details.



The story itself is as interesting as any story could be, but the way that Truman Capote puts it together makes something that is so unlike anything that any other writer would ever make. "In Cold Blood" is probably the best book I've ever read.

First post of the new year

Hi, How are you? I've been away for a while- last September I moved out of state so that I could be closer to a friend of mine. I just got back to my hometown a week ago. It's funny: a lot has happened since this time last year, but everything is almost exactly the same. Last August 1 I moved out of my apartment and stayed with my parents for a month while I got ready for the big move.



Now I'm back at my parents' making plans for my next big move (which will, most likely, be right back where I just was). Anyway, this time last year I had just started watching "Breaking Bad" right at the time that it was starting the second half of its last season. It sucked me in and I became obsessed with it. I moved away the first week of September and once I got there I got my roommate hooked.



Every Sunday we tuned in and it helped that they played the previous episode right before the newest one. That made things clearer for both of us. The night of the last episode we ordered a pizza and a big 2 liter bottle of Coke. AMC had done a marathon that weekend and we watched as much as we could. We both like the finale- no complaints- but I've thought that there was no topping the arrest and shootout at the site of their first cook. That was so exciting and that could've been the end right there.



Now that I've seen all the episodes (I watched the 2nd marathon they did after Christmas and then my roommate bought all the DVDs so we could watch commercial-free) I have to say: I don't really like Walt. I was on his side and wanted things to work out but he was such a dick. Skyler could be annoying too but that was such a thankless role and she did the best anyone could do with it. I had two favorites. Mike. That was a well-written role and the guy who played him was totally believable. And Saul. Every scene he was in was awesome. He's a writer and I've wondered if he worked out a deal where he was able to write, or at least, polish his lines. I wish there was a menu option on the DVDs where you could select to watch just his scenes. I loved when he bought Jesse's house from his parents and when he told Skyler that Ted used her money to lease a new car.




Anyway, I got my roommate to like the old movies on TCM; we made it a habit to check out "The Essentials" on Saturday nights. He especially like "Lifeboat". I had big plans for Christmas but he ended up going to see his family and I was alone for 11 days in a cold apartment by myself (we had heat but it was expensive and I wanted to use it as little as possible). Next time I'm on I'll tell you all about my lonely Christmas.



My time away wasn't incredibly exciting. I watched a lot of SVU. I discovered "The Wendy Williams Show" and for a while it was my only reason for getting out of bed. My roommate has a thing for TruTV so we watched marathons of "Hardcore Pawn" which is as fake as wrestling. I like the family so I'm able to watch that show but I can't stand those tow truck shows. The only good show they have is "Impractical Jokers" but then, that's probably the best show on TV. It's definitely the funniest; nothing has made me laugh out loud more than that show. Alright, I'll talk to you later. Good night.

Long long time

I would really like to know if my writing is bad. I think it's shitty. When I read my old posts I cringe or just get bored. I've been without internet for a while and now I have an IPad which I keep accidentally calling an IPod. Anyway, looking back over old posts, the ones I liked the best had a little or no text and just some cool pictures. Depending on how I feel I'm either going to go back and edit my semi-recent wordy posts, or just make some new ones. I've seen some pictures I like that I want to put up. I'll be back tomorrow.

Breeders LSXX

This spring The Breeders are going on tour and 4AD is putting out a deluxe re-issue of Last Splash called LSXX for the 20th anniversary of the albums original release. You can get either the 7- disc vinyl set or the 3- disc CD set (both have the same tracks. LSXX is: The full album The full Live In Stockholm concert A disc of demos and BBC recordings Four EPs from that era- Safari Cannonball Divine Hammer Head To Toe (In the vinyl collection the EPs are on 10" discs) What I really want is the box and the booklet of photos and artwork. I can't wait to see it.

New idea

So I'm finally on the internet again and all of this thinking about The New Yorker has given me and idea for this blog: What if, instead of writing every day or every once in a while, what if I posted once a week, say, every Monday, and it was one big post, kind of like a weekly magazine. And each week there'd be a little of everything: a movie review, an article about new songs on the radio or what was good on TV that week, there could be a section on various things to look forward to in the coming week, like books that are coming out or new albums. Like I said before, I don't read The New Yorker. It's a good magazine but it doesn't really interest me. Still, I like the format. I could do an article on some random subject (and then fact-check like crazy) and then I could write a short story or two. I'm not funny but maybe I could draw some cartoons. They just won't be funny. The only thing is, I don't have a scanner so that will make it really hard to add any visual material. This could be a lot of fun. I'm gonna be busy with work over the next couple days and with the storm coming tomorrow I'm gonna be staying at a friend's house overnight so it's gonna be a while before i make these changes, if I do.

Tom Wolfe and William Shawn Hooking Up

My new obsession started in 2004, or at least, it was set in motion then- I was at Ocean State Job Lot looking at their discount books (they have hardcovers for $2 or $3) and in the same section they had books on CD. There weren't many audiobooks there but one looked good: "Hooking Up" by Tom Wolfe. All I knew was "Bonfire of the Vanities" and the white suit, and I had read "The Right Stuff" recently and liked it. Hooking Up was a 6 CD set and it was $2 or $3 so I got it and started listening in my car right away.


The "Hooking Up" CD set is a collection of essays- some read by Wolfe, others by Ron Rifkin- and I was surprised by how interesting they were. Made me wish I had a long car trip to make. There are two essays that I like especially: "Two Young Men Who Went West" (the two young men are Josiah Grinnell, the founder of Grinnell College in Grinnell, Iowa in the 1900s and a later resident of Grinell, Robert Noyce who went on to found Intel) and "My Three Stooges" (the stooges are Norman Mailer, John Updike, and John Irving).



"My Three Stooges" (read by Wolfe; the essays that he reads come across better) was about an event that I didn't hear about at the time but wish I had- though I do remember seeing Wolfe on the cover of Time. "My Three Stooges" tells the story of how Wolfe's second novel "A Man In Full" came out in 1997 or 1998, was well-received (by The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Newsweek) well publisized (Vanity Fair and that Time cover story), and sold huge amounts of copies (a shitload of books were sold) and not long afterwards Norman Mailer and John Updike reviewed the "A Man In Full" and said that it wasn't real literature, it was entertainment; and Wolfe wasn't a novelist, he was just a reporter. John Irving came out against Wolfe later in a TV interview.


The details of the story are interesting and fun to read and it gets better as Wolfe talks about realistic, fact- based novels vs. literary novels that are abstract and not connected to life in America (or anywhere else). I'm going on too long here and I haven't even gotten to my obsession. Here it comes. The audiobook, I found out years later, doesn't have everything that's in the book "Hooking Up". The book, which I bought before Christmas, also has a novella called "Ambush At Fort Bragg" about a network news show going after three soldiers that they suspect murdered a fellow soldier. The novella had originally been published in Rolling Stone and was meant to be a part of "A Man In Full" but didn't end up fitting in with the rest of the story. But that's not even the good part. At the end of the book the re-print a two-part article that Wolfe wrote for The New York tribune, a parody of The New Yorker and profile of its editor William Shawn.



In the article he says that Shawn, in an effort to keep the magazine exactly as it was under the control of its founder and original editor Harold Ross, has made The New Yorker dull and boring. Wolfe also tells stories about William Shawn and his quiet, cautious manner and says that the main reason that Shawn is so guarded is because he believes that he was an intended target of Leopold and Loeb who considered kidnapping him but instead killed a younger classmate, Bobby Franks. Wolfe's editor sent an advance copy to William Shawn and Shawn wrote to the Tribune's owner to try to convince him to withhold the article. The editor leaked the letter and it all turned into a big news story in Time and Newsweek. So, both parts of the article are re-printed in Hooking Up, plus there are two (too-) short essays- one setting the scene of how the idea for the article came about and how it was researched and written, and another at the end telling about the outcry from various New Yorker writers, including a telegram from JD Salinger.



Anyway, I just got my computer working again so I spent last night looking up info on The New Yorker, William Shawn, Harold Ross, and Lillian Ross (William Shawn's mistress and author of a book about their 40 year affair "Here But Not Here"). The funny thing is, usually, unless there's an essay from David Sedaris inside, I don't even read The New Yorker.