SOMEWHERE

Somewhere (2010) Sofia Coppola

After the rough time she had with The Godfather Part III I hate to talk shit about Sofia Coppola but I'm really bothered by her 2010 movie Somewhere.

Why would anybody make this movie?

I waste a lot of time. I admit it. But this kovie is a waste of everyone's time. Anyone who has ever watched this movie has had their time wasted, so it amazes me that some people- like Roger Ebert- praised it.

Stephen Dorff (who I've disliked since the 1980s. He's a less talented Ethan Hawke (who I think sucks also) and I don't even like his chest hair) plays a bored, boring straight actor.

Here we see a shot of two woman pole dancing. Then a shot of Dorff lying in bed looking sleepy. Back and forth, back and forth. Later, he effortlessly gets a lady at a party into bed. They're having fun for about a minute, then he's fast asleep.

This is Coppola's way of showing us that Dorff isn't enjoying his life; he isn't even feeling it.

Every scene, every shot, I think Why? Why does she keep showing 20 second shots of Dorff in the shower? It doesn't further the story, it doesn't help introduce us to the character, it's not visually interesting, it's not even sexy. Later we see footage of Ghandi on Dorff's TV late at night. Then a shot of him lying in bed watching, the same way he watched the pole dancers.

Whatever Coppola has to say with this movie she should've just said. She's could've written a one page essay and payed to have it run in Vanity Fair or Good Housekeeping. Something like:

"Some actors, despite their success, are very bored with their lives. But if they try to connect with their children it will help them mature and find happiness."

Wait, she doesn't even need a full page ad. She could print up postcards, Stephen Dorff's picture on one side, text on the other. Or she could ask The Strokes to set that statement to music.

But that bullshit message is not enough to carry a boring, unattractive movie like Somewhere.

And one more thing. Why is it that Mac Culkin or Dakota Fanning has a hit movie and then afterwards every single child actor in a movie is either a fanning or a Culkin? Is it studio pressure? Go with a name people might know?

In conclusion, I dislike Stephen Dorff.