Creepy

The other day I was walking to work in the rain and a car pulled up alongside me and the driver, a guy in his early 50s, asked if I'd like a ride. He had a small dog in the backseat and trash and bags of candy on the passenger-side floor. I noticed one of the bags was Easter-colored Smarties- I had bought a bag just like it the week before.

I feel like I'm a little old to be buying candy like that- that makes this guy way too old to be buying it.

Anyway, we were driving by the big cematary by my house, which I walk by every day. Before we even talked about our destinations he said, "That gravestone's funny. It looks like the lady's giving Jesus head".

It seemed like a big red flag when he made an oral sex reference 15 seconds into the drive. I couldn't see which headstone he was talking about; this particular cematary has many huge, ornate gravemarkers. There are some crosses that are so massive they're scary. "Oh, I didn't see it. I'll have to check it out".

As it turns out, we weren't really headed in the same direction; he was going towards the highway and I was going downtown, but he dropped me off a mile down the road without incident.

Yesterday I was walking to the grocery store and decided to look for the gravestone he mentioned. I thought he was probably just looking for an excuse to bring up the subject of blowjobs. Turns out he was very right.

Tonight my friend snapped the picture above. I don't understand who would chose that marker and the guy who made it- didn't it occour to him how it was going to look. It's so strange.