Dusty Duddums

My friend and ex-roommate Amber has a dog named Dusty. Dusty is very cute & friendly, very lovable. Amber is one of the funniest people I know.

She's divorced and she jokes about trying to find a daddy for Dusty. Sometimes, when she was dating a new guy and they'd be on the couch with Dusty, she'd say, in a cute voice as if she were Dusty, "Are you my Daddy?"

The guy would smile or laught but not say anything.

Then Amber would say, in a cute but angry voice, "I axed you a question- are you my daddy?".

I love that.

When Amber or the other roommate Kelly would talk to Dusty they'd call her Dusty Duddums. I made the picture above when I lived with them. I wanted it to look like a Control-era record sleeve.

Spotlight on my friends' pets

Dusty
I lived with Dusty for a year and we got along great. She was very well-behaved and very sweet. Just happy and affectionate. In this picture it looks like she's smiling.

Francis
If I get too close to Francis he tries to bite me and one time he did sink his beak into my arm and I bled. His squawking gets annoying when my friend and I are tring to talk but I still love Francis.

Milan
I haven't met Milan and hopefully I never will. Snakes- all snakes- freak me out. My friend used to have a ball python named Pontius and one night I let him wrap himself around my arm while i drank and watched my friends play beer pong (it's something I'd never do normally but it was the night before Easter and I was drunk and extra high so it was alright somehow).
Anyway, I just like this picture- it's disturbing but very funny too, especially since I know that playground and have been going there my whole life. I snagged this photo from my friend's facebook page. One of his female friends commented, "That picture is just wrong" and my friend wrote "Hey Milan needs to play too".

Dusty has recovered

A couple weeks ago I heard that my ex-roommate's dog, Dusty, was not doing well and was near death. I found out today that Dusty has made a full recovery.

A Message To All My Friends

I'm lucky to have such wonderful friends. Everytime I've needed help you've been there. I wonder what I would do if anything ever happened to you. I've realized that if you die I won't be able to sponge off you anymore and that makes me sad.

That's why we need to make a plan for the future: I'd like to be in your will and/or the beneficiary of your life insurance policy.

And even if you don't have a fortune you can still leave me something. But, and this is very inmportant- it has to be something you know I'd want. For instance, Amber, please don't leave me Dusty as a joke because- I assure you- the joke will be on Dusty, a sad, scary joke, probably involving a woodchipper aimed at your headstone. I'm not a religious man, but I'd like to imagine you in the afterlife hearing a choir of angels, not the sound of shredded dog meat spewed onto a marble block.

I guess what I'm saying is: give me what I want and nobody gets hurt.